My Nightmare - a defining post title - shares a story of where Fred felt betrayed in a situation.
In this instance it seems that he’s taking it personally - but it’s really about them. And in that scenario you will have learned something about them. Inherently there is nothing wrong with a person making a decision solely based on money and valuation - and so now you know you wouldn’t be investing in them.
As Fred points out a decision based solely on money and valuation definitely ignores the nuances and value inherent in relationships. What if this company truly could have a pre-money valuation of $140mm - but it’s just outside your price and/or risk range? There are other ways to view that dream to make it not feel like a nightmare.
There are also other forms of investment that could probably keep everyone happy enough - mainly convertible notes - though you may not get the % equity you prefer, though if the company does as successfully as someone reasonable seeking such an amount, then you likely would have done quite well return wise — maybe just not an automatic 100x on your money.
I think this is why convertible notes are nice, and more fair - because honestly it’s dishonest to plop all investment opportunities into the same pile, to group all of entrepreneurs together with the same rules; Yes, I’m sure many investors do make adjustments for this scenario - though probably not as specially for as many as one would think.
What if it was Elon Musk saying “I have an idea, I need $140mm for it.” You’d probably be ecstatic and doing a happy dance internally at having that opportunity. And based on Elon’s character I don’t think he’d take money he’d waste - though he certainly knows the poker hand he’s holding now and knows he has lots of options for money - and with his $5 billion battery factory play - he’s going to very rapidly continue on a hockey stick growth curve to start rapidly improving all of humanity; A prediction I made earlier is Tesla will be worth $200 billion in 5-10 years - market cap might reach that sooner though if the markets wise up to understand everything he’s doing though.
Most investors seem to stick to similar rules and boundaries for investing money because they know options for most companies looking for funds are limited, though that’s an fabricated constraint and might prevent one from the seeing the real value of a situation.
The best way to view any situation is to eliminate internal belief that you’re owed anything, which will lead you to better seeing the real value of a situation; This is a practice, it takes time to learn to stay in the present moment to realize and process every in-the-moment situation to check with yourself if you’re acting out of a feeling of being owed — or one form of attachment.
If someone was super successful before and you’d like to invest in anything they do in the future, that’s a pretty strong signal - the strongest you’re going to get.
It’s possible valuation won’t be reasonable based on all factors, though that’s how a convertible note can help create a buffer to bring two parties together.
Pravin J commented that Fred needed a vacation, to which Fred responded he just had had one.
The vacation would have created space, which allowed new space to be filled -
"You must let go of the old to be able to grasp the new."
The dream was just processing the brain needed to do but wouldn’t have been able while constantly firing the same neural pathways regularly, e.g. day to day tasks and routine, patterns; Vacations and change give those pathways a longer break.
A regular yoga and meditation practice is a practical alternative as you get as many mini-vacations as you want.